Longing for simplicity

A few years ago, when I was in college, my mom handed me a set of three books. A trilogy. This is the link to see the books I'm talking about. The author is Beverly Lewis and she specializes in writing about the Amish, their life and faith. They are fiction but based off many true Amish beliefs as she has learned from the Amish herself. When my mom gave these to me, inside I chuckled. She wants me to read about the Amish? Are you serious? How could this be interesting to me? She told me her friend Barbara (aka Barbarazini) had let her borrow them and they were good, that I'd enjoy them. Well, I was anxious to read anything other than educational nursing books so I decided to give them a try. At least 8 years later, I am so glad that I did! I have since read many of Beverly's books... from a 5 part series to several trilogies. They are great! Not only am I suckered in to believing that I know more about the Amish than my friends, I get into these books as though the characters are real. At the end of the book, I wish I could meet them. I long to stay in their homes, to experience their singings and to help farm, can and weed. And if I'm totally honest with you, there are times that I long to become Amish.

Yeah, I know, it sounds crazy. And it is. I don't want to become Amish because I want to follow their faith. I am completely and 100% all about the man NOT being in charge in a relationship that I could never imagine having to "obey". I think their courting practices (called Rumshpringa) are a bit atypical, especially in this day & age. But there are so many things that I think are cool. Things that I'm sure they'd laugh about the "englisher" lady longing to have. They even say, (or at least Beverly portrays), that they believe many englishers (non-amish) come to their lives looking for seclusion, calm, a simpler way of life. And that is precisely what I'd like... some days.

What would it be like to wake up at 5am everyday (ask my mom, she does it all the time), start chores immediately, make a large breakfast for the men. Only to serve it and begin lunch preparations? What would it be like to have church in someones living room? To walk barefoot all summer and own no sandals? To "drive" in a buggy in the dead of winter, through the snow, with only a lap blanket and a warm brick to keep my feet from freezing? To walk everywhere I went, or ride in a buggy? To sew my own clothes, without buttons or zippers, but to use pins to hold them together? To do all those things that keep an Amish woman busy that I don't have/need to do?

I write this on my laptop, sitting on my couch, covered with my plug-in warming throw, with the television on, two children's baby monitors rustling a soft white noise in the background and my iPod next to me awaiting the next move on my many games. Seriously... all this comfort, all this convenience... and I think it would be cool to experience the Amish life. I just do. Have you ever thought that?

THREE!?! My oh my...

Can you believe that our little Holly is three years old? It's true. I cannot think of Holly's birthday without thinking of that day that we got the call. I remember it very vividly! I was at work and I was in charge that day. I got connected and the caller id had our agency on it... I couldn't believe it! Within three hours of my baby's birth, I was able to hold her! She captivated my every being the moment I laid my eyes on her... and to be honest, well before that! Holly was easy to fall in love with. She was tiny and beautiful and such a great little baby. Today, she is growing and beaitful and such a great big girl! I love everything about her... even her sassiness! It's hard to believe that she is three. That she is going on Christmas #4 with us... that she is a preschooler with her very own Leappad! My baby is growing up.... but she will always be my baby. Happy Birthday my dear, sweet Holly! I love you with all my heart, from meeces to pieces, from the moon and back! xoxoxo

i remember. may they will never forget.

I will remember. I will never forget that day. I will never forget the hushed understanding among Americans that followed for weeks. I will never get the images out of my head. And I do this by choice. Sept 11, 2001 was a day that not only changed America, it changed the world. It affected every race, ethnicity, religion, and sex. It was a day of shock, sadness, awe, heroism, terror, and grief. I remember where I was. I will tell my children all about it when they are older. And, I will do my very best not to let them forget. Today, we took them to the dedication of a steel piece of the World Trade Center. Apparently there are 1200 pieces out there and there was a rigorous application process in order to place these where they would be most appreciated. I am proud that the firefighters in my small town took the initiative and were chosen. God Bless America, ten years to the day the world was forever changed.

Before they unveiled the steel piece.

They closed down Grand River Avenue.

Unbelievable.

I cannot get over the bent nails.

Baby girls, I pray your generation never understands the grief associated with this type of terror.
And if you do, I pray that you will never take for granted the beauty of each day. xox

DOWN TWENTY with more to go!

I just wanted to say that today was great for me! The past week I've buckled back down on my eating. I'm back to protein shakes, eggs, salads and chicken mostly (with the occasional chocolate!). I have been weighing myself every Monday since March regardless of weight loss or gain. I printed a chart off the computer and hang it in the bathroom so I can see it all the time. I know weight isn't the best indicator of health. I know that focusing on that soley isn't the best long term plan but right now, for me, it helps. I like to have something measureable. Not simply a lowered jean size or better fitting shirt (although that is great too!). So, the coolest thing was today, I saw results! When I see results, I have increased motivation to continue eating healthy!! I am now down exactly 20 pounds since March!!! I am so thrilled! I want to keep going, keep it up and maybe even be forced to buy MORE new jeans! (I rewarded myself this fall with 2 pair from Maurices) I struggled a lot the past two months but at least maintained... hopefully with this new loss I can stay motivated to drop a few more pounds! Maybe 10 by my birthday!?!

Sweet, sweet summer!

My sister came down with her two boys this week and we decided to take them all to the MillPond. It's a large pond that is located in the heart of our small town. They have great paths to walk, ducks to feed and various shops, ice cream and even a playstructure the kids can usually play at (it's currently closed). It was  a beautiful day for all of us and I'm thankful for the time with my nephews, sister and my mom!

Holly really wanted to wear that hair clippy but it didn't match (I'm kinda a stickler) so I decided to put it on her hat instead of a fishing hook! She's just getting to big, too fast!

Hanny was quite a serious kiddo today. She had her "baby" with her and I was so afraid she'd drop it in the pond but she wouldn't let go so she spent much time in the stroller and short periods w/o baby closer to the water.

So very, very thankful for my family this week. Thanking God for the health of our family members and saying many prayers of thanks. God has been good to us, and we are humbled.

Weight Challenges

In March I posted about a life change that I was making... eating healthier, exercising and just maintaining and overall healthier lifestyle. My main goal of coarse was to lose weight and get back into some clothing I haven't worn in a few years. Since then, I've lost 16 pounds. Honestly, this has been extremely challenging and it seems to get harder every day.

I joined Jazz.er.cise in October with the hopes of going at least 2-3 days per week. I  LOVE the workout there! I feel energized and truly feel like I'm getting my butt kicked. I started out going the 2 days per week and did great! Lately... um, really, the past two months (just after signing on a year), I've slacked. Big time. I can find every excuse not to go. Mornings are too early and besides, Aaron has to leave for work earlier now that he drives further. Afternoons in summer are full of mowing the lawn, fixing dinners, and enjoying being a family. During the day, well, I never do that simply because it's just not plausible. They do have childcare available, free of charge, on tues, wed & thurs but I just can't seem to get to that session. The good news is that I've been walking 4 mile walks with my mom during this time, usually 1-2 times each week. I used to love exercise. I was a huge tomboy growing up and played softball and basketball like it was no ones business. As I've gotten older, I find that what I really missed was the competition of it all.

When I went on my food overhaul, I was basing it all on a book titled "Fee.d Musc.le, Starv.e F.at". It worked pretty good for me. The hardest part is finding the time to actually cook. They don't want me to make just one meal. It's making an omelet every single morning. Then having basically chicken, salad or fish (which I don't eat) at each meal. I am horrible at making meals, let alone for just one person! My mornings are full of getting three people dressed and ready for their day, feeding my kiddos, the cats, cleaning, laundry, etc... whatever is on for the day, it's never an omelet. I started incorporating protein shakes into my day and that is something I've stuck with. I usually substitute breakfast. It recommends at least one meal per day. What I found was when it came time to re-incorporate carbs into my diet (at two weeks), it got harder. And harder. My cravings are back and full force. I snack just like I did before. I am working very hard at this and attempting to choose healthy snacks. I'm learning that just because it's a good option, eating a ton of it defeats the purpose. UGH!

So, I think I'm doing pretty good overall. I've just been stuck. But that is nothing new. I've been here before. At least this time I'm down 16 pounds. My goal is to lose twice that. Or more. So... I've got more work to do. Some ideas I've had are to go to be earlier and get up at 5:30am. Then I'll come downstairs and workout to the Zu.mba Wii game I've got (at least a couple days per week). Couple that with the occasional Jazze.rcise and walks and I've got myself a good gig. Maybe If I got up earlier, I'd have time after Zum.ba to make myself that omelet! So, that's the idea... we'll see what happens. Getting to bed earlier will be my toughest challenge. It's the time of the day when my girls are asleep and there is no timer ticking telling me they'll be up soon and that my time is limited. I know they'll be down for hours.

So, that's my lifestyle change update. Hopefully in a few months I can chart some more progress!!

Preschool

We signed Holly up for preschool this week. It is bittersweet for sure. I am really excited for this part of the girls life! I really liked school (always academics, but hated the social aspect in high school)! I'm anxious to see if we've made the right decision. I think it's crazy how much time I've put into looking into preschools, and I am worried about if this is the "right" one. Preschool is preschool, right? Maybe not... Aaron's only worried that the girls get the right amount of math & science that they should. I'm worried that the teachers should be nice, the potty the right size and the classroom exciting. Oh, and that she LEARN enough to get her to where she needs to be to start Kgtn in two years. Yikes! We paid our deposit on a Christian school's preschool program. It's non-refundable yet I still feel the need to look further. There was one other school I had wanted to tour. So, this week, I plan to. I want to see it. I want to let my heart settle. I'm hoping that by seeing this other school, I'll know. But if I don't, surely after a few days of school, I will know for sure! I pray that the decision we made was a good one. I have a good feeling about the place, but I still worry.

Worrying = Mommyhood. 4sure.